Men in Therapy by David B. Wexler

Author:David B. Wexler
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780393706598
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 2013-12-22T16:00:00+00:00

Stories of “Real Men” and Depression

One of the most powerful media messages that actually counteracts this programming is evident in the current wave of ads for erectile dysfunction medication. As just mentioned, Levitra uses as a spokesman Mike Ditka, former coach of the Chicago Bears and the New Orleans Saints, who has a reputation for being one of the toughest “man’s man” there is. The implicit message, of course, is that if Mike Ditka can acknowledge imperfections in what we usually consider to be the pillars of manhood, so can the rest of the guys! Masculinity is redefined as encompassing the capacity—based on personal security in one’s manhood—to recognize that you need help and to go for it.

In fact, the men who we usually think of as being the toughest—the “real men” whom we often turn to for strength and protection—are at an especially high risk for this kind of depression. Soldiers. Firefighters. Police officers. These men utilize traditional male strengths to put aside their fears and rise to the occasion. There is no way that our society should aim at eradicating these strengths. But the very strengths that are invaluable in these emergency situations also inhibit their ability to acknowledge fears, doubts, indecisiveness, or regrets in other types of situations.

It can be especially effective to steer reluctant male clients to stories of “real men” who have the personal strength and wisdom to seek help. Firefighter Jimmy Brown, 37 years old, ran into the World Trade Center minutes after the first plane hit on 9/11 (Hales & Hales, 2004). He found himself buried in rubble and ash. He was sure this was the day he would die, but he miraculously survived with only minor physical injuries. The trauma was not over, however. The posttraumatic stress from what he had witnessed and experienced plunged him into an emotional hell and a paralyzing depression. He spent days never leaving the house, then finally, at his wife’s insistence, he sought out a psychologist and began the emotional healing process. Brown is now developing a peer counseling program to help police and firefighters deal with stress and depression.

Business mogul Philip J. Burguiéres, once the youngest chief executive of a Fortune 500 company, reports that he was a highly successful businessman. But he never slept more than a few hours at a time—and he was plagued with anxiety and distress inside: “I almost wanted to peel my skin off” (Healy, 2005). Burguiéres passed out in his office after a particularly stressful week. He was referred to a psychiatrist, and he got the word that he was “clinically depressed.” He received the treatment plan: medication, psychotherapy, and participation in a mental health support group. Burguiéres never followed up. Several years later, his depression returned, and (citing “health reasons”) he resigned his executive position. He had been fantasizing obsessively about committing suicide. Now owner of the NFL’s Houston Texans, Burguiéres has spoken to many business groups about his depression and how he eventually got the help he needed.

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